Not Every Habit Is for You
- Dominique Posillico
- Nov 16, 2025
- 5 min read
How to identify the habits that truly support your goals
Lately it feels like everywhere we turn, there’s another “must-do” habit being pushed at us. Wake up earlier, drink more water, journal daily, cold plunge, read more, meditate… the list never ends. And even though habits can be amazing tools, the truth is simple: not every habit is meant for every person. A habit is only “healthy” if it supports your lifestyle, your goals, and your well-being. If it leaves you stressed, guilty, or overwhelmed, it might actually be doing the opposite of what it promises.
In this blog, I’m breaking down how to figure out which habits truly belong in your life—so you can make choices that support your health and happiness, instead of chasing routines that don’t fit you.
Get Clear on Your goals and the lifestyle you want
Before you can choose habits that actually support you, you need to determine your goals and the lifestyle you want. If you’re unclear of your goals or what you want your ideal lifestyle to look like, it becomes challenging, if not impossible, to build habits that help you create it. And honestly, getting clear on those things can be a challenge on its own.
A helpful place to start is by looking at the people you naturally look up to—your role models. There’s a reason they inspire you. What is it about their life, routines, or mindset that pulls you in? Is it their career? Their health? Their relationships? Their confidence? Their balance?
Take the time to research your role models. Pay attention to how they live their lives, from their attitudes towards life to their habits and routines. Sometimes the easiest way to discover what you want is to look at someone who already has it. Let that be a source of inspiration—not comparison—and use it to paint a clearer picture of the lifestyle you’re working toward.
Once you know the direction you’re aiming for, choosing aligned habits becomes much easier.
Be Realistic About Your Time + Start Simple
Once you know the lifestyle you’re working toward, the next step is figuring out what habits actually fit your real life. The aim is to bridge the two lifestyles together, therefore be aware you're still meeting yourself where you are at. Some habits might sound amazing, but they’re not always practical—especially if they’re designed for someone more advanced or someone who’s been building habits for years...and that’s completely okay!
The goal here isn’t to do everything at once; it’s to start small and start smart. Simple habits still count, and honestly, they’re usually the key to building a solid foundation. When you begin with something manageable, you’re setting yourself up to stay consistent—and eventually you'll be able to stack more habits on top.
This is where being realistic matters. Look at your schedule, your energy, your responsibilities, and determine how much time and energy you genuinely will be willing to give. The right habit is one you can actually follow through with, not one that overwhelms you!
Choosing a habit that's yours and recognizing the rewards
Once you know your goals and the time you actually have, it’s time to choose the habit you want to implement. But this step isn’t just about what habit you pick—it’s about understanding the reward that comes with it. Because if you don’t see value in the habit, it’s going to be really hard to stay consistent with it. When you’re choosing a habit, keep it aligned with your goals and lifestyle, but also ask yourself:“What do I get out of doing this?”
Using a journaling example: if someone you admire journals for 15 minutes every morning to feel more mindful, but you realistically only have three minutes… that doesn’t mean the habit isn’t for you. This just means that you need to recreate your own version of it. Maybe that looks like writing down three things you’re grateful for before you start your day. Same intentions and habits but just in a different shape.
Even with a small habit there is an existing and related reward.For our example of writing, the immediate reward is that you feel more grounded, mindful, and present throughout the day. The long-term reward is that you build a more intentional, grateful, and calm life over time. Those rewards matter. They’re what keep you showing up on days when motivation is low.
Every habit has a consequence—so choose habits with positive ones. If a habit doesn’t give you something meaningful back (emotionally, mentally, or physically), you’re not going to feel naturally inclined to keep it in your routine. Pick a habit that supports your goals, fits your time and energy available, and gives you a reward you care about.
Create a cue to make the habit easy
Once you’ve chosen your habit, you’re not done yet! Its time to establish your cue. A cue is something that reminds you to do the habit and makes it easier to follow through. Think of it as removing the challenges that exist between you and the routine you’re trying to build.
The best way to choose a cue is to look at your biggest barrier. Using the journaling example: if your goal is to write down three things you’re grateful for each morning, but your barrier is simply forgetting to do it… then you need a cue that makes it impossible to miss. Maybe that means putting your journal and a pen right on your nightstand. Now the moment you wake up, it’s the first thing you see. You don’t have to get up, go searching for it, or think too hard about remembering—it’s just there. Easy to see, easy to grab, easy to do.
The cue should be just as simple as the habit itself. If it takes too much time or energy to even get started, consistency becomes nearly impossible...and habits only become habits through consistency.
Set yourself up with a cue that breaks down the barrier, supports the habit, and makes the whole thing feel natural.
At the end of the day, the best routines are usually the simplest ones. Don’t overcomplicate things—choose habits that fit your life, that you can actually do, and that bring you some kind of reward. I say just do it (yes, Nike, I see you and your marketing genius!) because the word “just” removes all the second-guessing, procrastination, and anticipatory anxiety that so often gets in the way. Start simple, start small, and give yourself permission to build over time. Habits aren’t about perfection—they’re about consistency, and the easier and more natural you make them, the more likely they are to stick and truly support your happiness.
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